I’d been doing so well, but today I’m just down and out. I have a really involved project to do for Natural History and the rough draft is due tomorrow, so I’ve been working on that all day. I found some really good information and was doing quite well, but my energy has just dropped, I’m lonely, cold, and tired, and I’m not going to see anyone till about six. Microsoft Word is giving me trouble which is very frustrating. I also need to hand draw a map, and I’m no good at that.

A few hours later:
still feeling down. I don’t know what to do with myself tonight. I haven’t eaten much of anything today (actually, I haven’t eaten much of anything this week, I can’t find food at my house) and I’m hungry, but I just keep wandering around listlessly in the kitchen to the point where I irk myself. I picked up an onion and started to peel it, but the smell made me nauseous. So I put that away. Mom’s been teaching all day and when she gets home, she’ll be tired, so I at least managed to sweet the floor, clear the table, and do the dishes. So at least she won’t have that to deal with.
I hadn’t realized how much I depend on seeing Matt each week. I go one extra day without him and it’s like I’m gasping for breath!

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Why does it always rain on me?

For once that horrid big TV in the SMCC campus center is on something bearable! Usually I do my best to ignore it, but the only outlet for my computer was right underneath. Thankfully, the history channel is on, and it’s a program about the milky way and black holes. Hurray! Physics!

I spent the night with Mal, and she took me to school the next morning. As in, this morning. The weather was unexpected. Well, by me. It’s so windy! And of course, this campus is on the beach, so the wind is that much stronger. It was hard to keep my balance. The fifteen pound backpack helped.
Let’s see- I’ve thought more about my music list. Here are some other songs I like or have been listening to lately:
Why Does it Always Rain on Me- Travis
James Ward- decent eighties rock! unbelievable.
a little Rachmaninov.
I do still like to listen to Beethoven’s Pathetique
And more Muse. Time is Running Out, Supermassive Black Hole.
Faye Christie. Mal introduced me to this woman- she plays at Mal’s camp and is a very folky, calm sort of musician. I like the simplicity of her words. Good Bible music.

There’s a lot of music I want to get at this point…some of the songs listed above (I need Muse so I don’t have to get it on youtube) and some others I can’t recall right now- oh, Ralph Vaughan Williams Five Variants of Dives and Lazarus, and his Sinfonia Antartica, which is one of the most fascinating pieces of music I’ve ever heard. And his fantasia on Greensleeves. I can’t think what else.

Waiting for Dad to get out of class so we can go home. I’m eager to get into my warm bed- it feels like it’s been forever since I have. Thursday through Saturday I was gone, and then Sunday I slept at home, but last night was at Mal’s. At any rate, it will be warm and dry and cozy! After this day of perpetually wet clothes, that is something to look forward to indeed.

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Mal’s home and I get to see her for a day. So that’s nice.
I’m tired. I saw four shows this weekend. Thursday night was Kayla and Bethany’s concert at Merrill, Friday was a production of Emma, Saturday was Matt and Than’s play, and Sunday I saw Krissy in Sound of Music. Up till midnight all but Sunday.
I’m listening to Warsaw Concerto. I’ve been listening to some really interesting music lately…here’s my top list for now:
Warsaw Concerto
Butterflies and Hurricanes, Starlight, and Muscle Museum by Muse
Erik Satie

Drew is trying to buy my iPod from me, and I’m afraid he’ll do it when I’m not looking, so I’d better go.

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I haven’t got anything very interesting to say, but I’d like to write something. Anyway, it’s not as though “my readers are depending on me!” as Than would say.
I got up at nine-thirty today and went back to bed at twelve-thirty, and then didn’t get up again until three-thirty, at which time I took a shower. Then I threw on a coat and went for a walk. It gets dark so early. I’ve lived here all my life, and somehow it still surprises me every year. You’d think I’d be used to the darkness by now.
Deep doldrums today. It has been so grey, and that makes everything harder. My walk was nice, though. It was warm but misting, which felt very nice on my hot cheeks. I’ve always hated the way my face turns so brilliantly red. Isn’t it enough that I have spots? I don’t need to be red, too.
Well, before I regret typing that, I’ll move on. Standish is a nice place to walk. I feel safe from people, anyway. The woods are very thick and brooding at night, and with the woodsmoke from the scattered houses and the mustiness of leaves and the fresh smell of the rain, there was a very nice scent. So I enjoyed that somewhat.
I did get the Communist Manifesto and am reading it. One chapter left in the Titanic book, and then I think I’m going to read some Elsie Dinsmore. I like those books.

We (the Libbys and I) are having a dinner entirely composed of pie tonight. We had a full leftover apple pie from a church supper last night, and Mrs. L made a chicken pot pie to precede it. Excellent.

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He does not care for growing things.

I’m starting to feel my interest in writing return. It’s been several months since I’ve written regularly in my diary. After five years, I’m reluctant to let myself stop. So I’m thankful that my desire to chronicle is coming back.

Books are nice, aren’t they? Suddenly my interest in classics has been piqued. Right now, I’m reading a book titled The Sinking of the Titanic and Great Sea Disasters. It was written directly after the Titanic was sunk, and is now republished by Vision Forum. I find it very interesting for a few reasons: firstly, because I’ve really not paid attention to the story of the Titanic before, secondly, because it was written in a time before revisionist histories, when ‘women and children first’ was honorable instead of undignified, and thirdly, because it’s full of “thrilling stories of survivors with photographs and sketches.”

I talked on the phone with Matt last night, and he mentioned he was going to the library, so I asked him to look for The Communist Manifesto for me. I’ve been wanting to read it and don’t often have a chance to get to the library myself. I tried reading Das Kapital at one point, and failed dismally.

Also on my list of subjects right now are several topics that I’ve run into and decided I want to read more about: Anastasia and Tsar Nicholas II’s family, more Russian history in general, the Birkenhead Drill (another sea disaster), the Reformation, Norse Mythology, the Brothers Grimm because my Matt recommended them, and I think it’s time I finally read the Kalevala, the national Finnish epic Mom gave me for Christmas three years ago. I’ve been saving it for a rainy…month.

Additionally, I found a book lying on the floor by the head of the stairs that looked nice and read it. It was called Quest for the Faradawn, and had a faded, seventies-fantasy cover. It dawned on me that I very rarely read new books that I don’t have some explicit reason to read, so I picked it up. Quest for the Faradawn, isn’t that a nice name? The book was pleasant.

Speaking of books, I laughed at myself the other day when I looked at one of my bookshelves. It’s really a mounting cupboard that is leaning against the wall, and I started stacking books on it because the dinky bookshelf I inherited from Dad is not big enough for all my collection. Here’s what I saw on this shelf:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Holy Bible (from 1865)
The Lord of the Rings one volume illustrated by A. Lee
Hits for Misses (monologues)
Abraham Lincoln (play)
Pride and Prejudice (play)
Better Speeches for All Occasions
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Dear America: The Diary of a Prairie Teacher
The Bible Promise Book
Spiritual Privileges (Mostrom)
Intimacy with God (Mostrom)
Little Faith
Costume Monologues
The Road Unseen
NIV New Testament
Piled above these horizontally are: Boy Meets Girl, The New Manners and Customs of Bible Times, and Calvin’s The Institutes of Christian Religion.

The following three shelves are mostly things like my seven filled diaries and journals, but a few books:
Little Women
Charles Dickens Works
NIV NT from the Gideons
Daily Light
Proverbs, The Message
The Origin of the Bible
The Message
How to Stay Alive in the Woods
Health Foods
The Heart of the Chronicles of Narnia

And to top it off, these are stacked nearby:
Psalms for Singing
Moominvalley in November, Comet in Moominland, Moominland Midwinter, and The Exploits of Moominpappa
Encountering the Old Testament
and John Greenleaf Whittier.

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Hmm. So, just for the record…college didn’t happen.

There’s a girl, Holly, probably about twenty-one, in my English Comp class, and she’s really, really masculine. In my head I’d been calling her a butch, because she’s tattooed and hole-punched within an inch of her life and wears mens’ clothing and swears every other word and smokes and is rude to the teacher. I told Dad about her with distaste.
But then the other day, she caught up to me after class and said, “So who’s that guy you meet up with after class? Is he your dad?” I said yeah. “Well, last week when you were leaving, I walked by and he turned his head and looked at me and shook it slowly.”
So now I don’t call her butch in my head. I call her Holly. Dad doesn’t remember shaking his head at her, but it was wrong of me to think of her so negatively. Last night we had a test, and she appeared behind me as I was leaving and asked me how I thought I’d done. So we had a friendly conversation about it as we walked down the road. She, lighting up and smoking, dressed in droopy jeans and a skater hoodie and a flat black cap. Me, clutching my sewing, dressed in pink with a pretty scarf and my long hair around my face.
Which one of us is better? Certainly not me.

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Yesterday I said:

I met a lady who has a lot of old Gunnies she needs to find something to do with. Enter me. It was extremely exciting. We’re going to meet and I shall look through them.

Today, Mom and I drove to Lynn’s house. When we got there, she pulled out the ten or so Gunne Sax dresses she had…and I tried them on. Meanwhile, she pulled out more and more and more dresses and blouses and skirts that she thought I might like, getting more and more excited as time went on. She was so friendly and easy to like, and the best part was, she was as excited as I was about the whole business. She was moving and needed to cut down drastically on her closet space, but didn’t want to just give her well-loved dresses to Goodwill. She was so glad to give them to me, to someone who would wear them and love them and use them!
We were there for some time, and she went all through her closets and then her basement, and unbelievably, and I mean that I am still in shock, I came home with a LOT of things.
Over twenty dresses. Six blouses. Sweaters, skirts, three antique petticoats (which I really needed), a fur coat, mink, hats, and more. And to top it all off, she gave me a beautiful steamer trunk, twice the size of my existing trunk, lined in cedar.
This makes such a huge dent in the amount of things I needed for my wardrobe, and so many of these things are really beautiful! Now, some of them are really hilarious, like the red polka dotted frilly skirt and shirt. But this woman was so generous. And she gave it all to me completely free. She didn’t want any money. She kept a list, too, of other things she wanted to show me that she couldn’t find at the time, and has another friend with Gunnies whom she’s going to talk to. So we’re going to stay in touch, schedule another date.
And you know? I did some quick calculating in my head (amazing, I know), and I think that if I had bought these things from dealers, they would’ve cost a few hundred dollars. Maybe several hundred.
I am so overwhelmed and incredibly grateful. Yes, some of my friends have spoken for the things I can’t keep, so Sonja and Krissy, you’re second on the list. We’ll see if there’s anything, I’ll need to go through it again eventually.

Someday I’ll get pictures up. Lynn wants to see them. I am so happy. Two great and surprising things so far this week. And Mrs. Konczal got to touch the Marquis de Montcalm’s face! :D

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I started blogging five years ago. Interesting. Thanks for the blog, Ted, it’s been nice.

I played with Seth and James this morning. I would venture to say that we played one of our best games yet. Seth and James have seen up until the recent Avatar finale, and so we played Avatar as we often do. James was Aang, and Seth was Zuko, and I was Katara. Oh crumbs, I just realized that I can’t really explain because Krissy hasn’t seen the end yet.
Well, anyway, they quoted a lot from what they had seen, then came up with their own ending since they hadn’t seen it. Basically, we used waterbending and put the comet out. Yay, world saved. :P
Honestly, having these little friends is a great thing for me. I have a legitimate excuse for running around flailing my arms, pretending to move water and earth and such.

I got two Gunne Sax skirts for six dollars recently. I won’t get into it all because it’d take a little while to explain, but basically I was performing at Buxton’s town day and met a lady who has a lot of old Gunnies she needs to find something to do with. Enter me. It was extremely exciting. We’re going to meet and I shall look through them. I got the two long skirts though, which is a real blessing, as I needed about two more long winter skirts! The waists were a little too small, but I cut through the bands, opened up the side seams, and inserted wedges in contrasting colors, and I am happy to say that despite the fact that I had no idea what I was doing, they turned out really well!

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A little late in changing my calenders…

Me: This is the rare [name of plant] and it’s interesting because [insert interesting, exceptionally lengthy monologue].
Sonja: This is a leek, and it’s good for everything except boats.

Happy July, everyone!

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Today Christchurch’s pirate-themed vacation Bible school kicked off. I wasn’t going to be able to go to much of it, but for some inexplicable reason, I didn’t get scheduled until Saturday! Really odd, and really welcome. So I’ll be there every day, most likely.
It went well…I, of course, was there mostly for the excuse to dress up. I wore my pre-Raphaelite dress, with various fun accessories like my vouz medallion and mug, my Redwall satchel, a seashell necklace Keturah made me, etc. I think I looked reasonably piratical. It was hot, but I didn’t suffer until I got roped into playing octopus outside and won the first game. >.< No one had told me that when you won, you had to be it.
We didn’t get as many kids as we expected, but the ones that turned up were well-behaved and interested. One little girl, named Tabitha, I hadn’t met before. We were in the bathroom, she washing her hands, when suddenly-
“How many gods do you believe in?”
“Er..what was that?”
“How many gods do you believe in?”
“Oh. Only one. There is only one God.”
I waited, but she didn’t say anything, so I prompted.
“How many gods do you believe in?”
“Well, that’s good.”
“I thought you believed in two gods or something.”
“Er…no, just the one. Maybe you heard us talking about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit? The trinity?”
Luckily, Mrs. Noonan showed up just then and I smoothly dumped the responsibility of explaining that theological conundrum. I’m not quite ready to explain the Trinity to six-year-olds…she smiled and used an apple analogy.

There wasn’t a whole lot for me to do, since I’d signed up late, so I ended up with the video camera, taping Than and the rest of the worship team up front, prancing about and doing motions to the songs. They did a good job, I know I wouldn’t have been able to swallow my affected dignity quite so well, even for the sake of a lot of impressionable kids.
Actually, I do have one other responsibility…Mom and I share custody (so to speak) of Crew #2. We have to escort them to their various stations. Mom’ll be gone most of the week, so they’ll be mine. I like our group; I think they’re about ages 5-8. One of the boys, Peter, is the sweetest chocolate-colored little boy I’ve ever met. I think we’ll be good friends.

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