Bad Wolf

I’m feeling dangerous today. It’s just another mood and it’ll change today or tomorrow, but right now it’s pretty strong. I’m not sure if a dangerous mood implies danger to myself or to other people, but either way, everyone had better watch out.

Partly to assuage the dangerous mood and partly because I needed excersize, I took a walk this morning. I wore a long dark coat unbuttoned, thrust my hands in the pockets and let it flap around in the wind. With a long scarf, wild hair, and Muse on my iPod, I felt dangerous, even if I didn’t look it. In a characteristic and not very threatening move, I walked past the bars and went into the library instead. Old issues of National Geographic make for good reading.

I turned nineteen last Thursday. That is, the Thursday before the one that happened yesterday. Krissy and Dori and I went ice skating, then came home and listened to Beach Boys vinyl and made origami hats. We started with cranes, but when my malformed avian earned the name “Nessie” we figured we should try something easier. So newspaper hats it was. The Libbys and Matt joined us and we all wore the hats and toasted my “loss of insurance and other childhood benefits.”

Guess what? I don’t want to get old. Actually, no, I have no problem with getting old. Old people are so pretty. White hair will be a boon. However, a lot of old people, especially the ones in their mid-twenties, are really boring and sometimes I feel like they don’t even have souls. I don’t want to lose.

I think that’s part of why I’ve been wearing my hair wild lately. I suppose it isn’t actually that wild and most people probably just think, “Well, look at that girl with long hair. She should comb it” or ignore it all together. But I think my hair is my security blanket. I feel safe when it’s around me. And it’s also- well, now you’re-
I was going to say “now you’re going to think I’m completely crazy” but the truth is that’s probably already well established, I’m going to a shrink for Pete’s sake, and even more truthfully I don’t give a dragon dropping.
So, carrying on from where I was before I interrupted myself: sometimes it feels like hair is an outgrowth of what’s inside. It’s long and nutty because thats what I’m like in…essence.

Sor’of, yeah.
I’m clearly in an abstract mood today. Did you know I could be abstract? Hmm, I didn’t.


  1. Krissy Said,

    February 2, 2009 @ 5:13 pm

    A dragon dropping? They’e almost 17 sickles an ounce, my dear!
    No, but really, if you’re worried, try to emulate how Anne grows older. She never really gets frumpily middle-aged, does she?

  2. Sonja!! Said,

    August 29, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

    I decided that now I am safely installed back in Iowa with my own computer, I should catch up on yo’ blogging activities. :)

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