Archive forFebruary, 2005

I’ve started keeping a regular diary recently. It’s lasted longer than any of my other attempts…a little over two weeks. It’s somehow relaxing to write about my day, complaints, thoughts…
I’ve completely run out of interesting things to say on here. Maybe if I just talk about my day…?
Dori IMed me a few hours ago and invited me down for a picnic. I went…turned out really fun. We just had hotdogs and potato salad and fruit on a blanket in the living room…with a little fake fire going and the lights off…and I don’t care if it sounds stupid and young. If I can’t act silly as I get older, I’ll just go drown myself now. Then we made s’mores and burned ourselves…at one point, while we were making them, the cd Dori was playing gave a screech..she screamed, which made me scream, which made us both convulse in laughter. It resulted with Dori lying on the floor giggling, and me trying in vain to get her up. ‘Twas fun.

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We’re bowing to the Mikado because we don’t wanna get our heads chopped off.

Today Mrs. Libby passed around the sheet in Chorus. In other words, anyone who wanted a part in the Mikado signed up. Naturally, only the people she already knew wanted parts signed up, and they were the people who would get them. That’s just how things work at our school. Luckily, I am one of those people.
Emy, Julia, Emily, and I all signed up for Pitti-Sing…but I know I’m getting Peep-bo, so I signed up for that one as well. The other was just wishful thinking. Both Emily and I were dissapointed to get the other part…but we have one source of hope: Steph put a question mark next to her name under Katisha. If we can get her not to take a part this year, since she is tentative, then Julia can do Katisha, and Emily and I can each get one night as Pitti-Sing! Or one of us can get two nights. We’re going to try hard to make that happen, even though it would involve a LOT of hard work. And I know Mrs. Libby doesn’t really want me to be Pitti-Sing, because I have a quiet, lyric soprano voice, but I know I could do it. The main thing is, Peep-Bo doesn’t have a single solo, and that’s what I love…she has a few solo lines, but no good solo, like last year. Ah well, she’s a very fun character to play. She’s supposed to be very pretty and graceful in appearance, (as I joked with Mrs. Libby, that rules me out! :P ) but when she speaks, her words have a sting. Pretty funny…always reminding Yum-Yum that her husband’s head is about to be lopped off. Ah well, either way, I know she’s giving me a part this year, she’s told me that much.

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I hate having to have titles for my entries. After more than a year, how am I supposed to come up with original titles? My list of words is not expendable, thank you very much.

We got a good storm last night. I lay in my room with candles lit and the window open..crazy, but the cold wind felt really good. Ended up falling asleep for the first time at about seven ten, and woke up again later.

Anna is telling me about LOST. Good stuff. I heard someone died. Must go talk to her.

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Gah.

Just stayed up way too late looking at the scrapbook on the most extensive LotR costume site on the web. Today I got five yards of a simple blue cotton, a dollar a yard, I’ll be drafting my pattern as soon as I can. All the costumes in LotR lack princess seams, so I’m going to attempt to create a pattern of my own, as there are no patterns like that to my knowledge. Wish me luck. It’ll be good to have a project to work on…the chain mail is great, but very hard to work with. I’m not quite strong enough to bend stainless steel rings with my bare hands. Or with two pairs of pliers. Ah well, at least I have one creation.
I’m going to bed.

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I’m so down I could just cry. Which sounds really lame. But there’s a certain point where you can’t bear it any longer, and you just break down and cry like a baby.
Megan and Mallory showed up at the recital yesterday, mom’s recital, because they’d had a party at Chantelle’s…then Mal had stayed at Megan’s house. They both came to the recital to hear Robyn play…or were forced to. I don’t know.
They ended up passing notes with Cheri the whole time about how ‘hot’ Jacob is. Sure, he’s a great guy, but it totally disgusted me. Especially how whenever I tried to lean over to get a look…nobody really let me. Mal was very sweet, tried to be nice…but things just aren’t the same anymore.
I went home right away after. Couldn’t even say goodbye…I felt so physically and emotionally sick. And I still feel that way. Like crapp. And I feel like everyone else regards me as crapp too.
Yes, I can post this, because I know Megan never reads my blog anymore. And I wouldn’t care if she did…how could I make her dislike me more?
Yesterday mom and I went for a long walk. I think…never mind what I think.
I’m trying to get my parents to let me stay home from church today. I don’t want to run away from God, no, I’d probably do some reading of my own. That’s the thing I least want right now. What I want is to run away from people. Too many people staring at me, critisizing me, hating me.

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