Archive forOctober, 2004

I’m sorry.

Sorry I haven’t blogged in so long. A lot is happening right now.
I’m changing. And it scares me. I never thought I would change. But I have….and am. And it’s terrifying.
I don’t know when I’ll write again.

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Yikes.

Well, I just got offered my dream job. Moderating at AU. Out of 1250 people, 29 got picked, and 19 were already there. So ten people got picked and I was one of them. I don’t know what it was, but I must have done SOMETHING right. It happened last Sunday, but I got the information yesterday. Exciting. There’s a lot of contriversy right now, with the mods, though. Some people really hate them, and a few have been kicked off, and some have left…I hope no one hates me for my position.

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*sigh* this kid is smart…

P:no occupation andi’m a little worried that ive no idea where to go aftaskool
P:hek i dont no where to go afta skool at 230

P: dont worrie abuot a job too make ur livin worrie about makin sure u follow God until that time
P:u coold be an unpaid garbageman but if thats what God wants u to do he’ll support u

sound advice.

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Paul’s positive outlook on life…

P: i dont really like music as much this year
P:now its just a stupid cors to get stupid credits (which i cooldnt care less about) to get out of a stupid skool to get in a stupid college to get out of a stupid college and blahhhhhhhhhh
P:i try to keep my outlook on life positive
P:part of not liking it is it takes up study halls which makes me have less time to do hw(which must be done for all previosly stated reasons) which in turn takes time from me havin a life

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paul…

P:i TRY to focus on pesronality pero esta dificil
P:i TRY but i is still a guy

good point. Maybe I should think about that when I get mad about how guys drool over certain girls.

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nate is funny…

me: hiyah
N: hi
me: what’s up?
N: nm
N: u
ME: talking to a dork
ME: his name is nate
ME: and he won’t say anything more than hi, nm, and u.
N: o
N: thanx
ME: making cookies for megan and mallory and all. ;-)
N: ok
N: me?
Me: hmm…I should bring a few extras in
ME: for SOME of the guys
ME: first come first serve
ME: :P
N: including me
N: no
ME: fine then including you. :P
N: mike will take them all
ME: ok never mind. first come OTHER THAN MIKE first serve
N: no
N: ill get a little 1
N: im slow
N: u should reserve a really big 1 4 me!
ME: ok. BIG ONE FOR NATE then first come other than mike first serve?
N: yes
N: thats good
ME: lol
N: lol

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Talking with Keith…

I always found this kid to be encouraging, through all his oddities.
I asked him why guys only liked girls that wear a lot of makeup…
he said:
“and there all like hey im the popularesty if i get ehr”

When I said that none of the guys liked me because I’m weird, he said:
“and hannah ui gotten alot cooler
i think enyways”

I remember that note he passed me in math when I was really upset over a grade…it was something about how I needed to “lighten up on myself.” His choice of words was always…interesting. I wish he was still in our class. I miss that kid a lot.

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Made by…

Well, I just got back from the Exhibit again. Krissy and Sonja and I went this time…and it was incredible. Even more amazing this time. I got so many pages of notes…if you want to hear about it, ask me. Jessie, since we’re getting that new phone thing, I might actually be able to call you sometime. Which would be cool… ;)
Megan and Mal, talk to you tomorrow! :)
And Krissy and Sonja, you were there!:D

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Megan, if it makes you feel any better, turns out OB isn’t engaged after all. His representative denied it, it was all a rumor.
Guess TORn was wrong for once.

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*sigh*

I’ve felt a bit down the past few days. And now I’m tired…that doesn’t help any. For one thing, the new girl in our class doesn’t seem to like me, but she likes Meg and Mal. Which is extremely frustrating. She said something about me behind my back a while ago, and though I’ve forgiven her, I don’t entirely TRUST her. It’s just so maddening…I’m one of a VERY few people in our class who doesn’t think they need a boy/girlfriend. It’s so frustrating. For instance, one boy just asked the new girl out, and then they broke up the next day. I really believe that this boy didn’t want to go out with her so much as he wanted to BE going out with her. you know? It is just a status symbol. Besides, until this week I didn’t even KNOW what going out was. It doesn’t make sense. They don’t even GO anywhere…they just call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, these kids are fourteen and fifteen! It’s so ridiculous! Man, I get so frustrated. They don’t like me at all, mostly because I DON’T think it’s great for them to be going out. I just want to stand up in front of them and yell until they’ve got some sense pounded into their heads. It is so FRUSTRATING! And there isn’t a darn thing I can do about the whole crappy affair! Someone shoot me, please.
Last night I had a dream that a bunch of people, including Megan, Kendra, and Dad, were in a play, and when the run finished, they decided to commit suicide, by inhaling methylchlorithane. that’s what it was called, but I’m quite sure it doesn’t really exist. Anyway, I went nuts and screamed and yelled at them, but they tried to do it anyway. I called Kendra’s mom, but she didn’t come, and then I called Megan’s mom, but they wouldn’t come, and then I called 911 and they, of course, said that it was harmless. Which it wasn’t.
In any case, I was still freaking out. I dragged Dad to the car and left him there while I frantically tried to think of a way to get help. Maybe what inspired this dream was me reading about that cult leader who had everyone drink koolaid laced with cyanide. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Eventually, after avoiding being run down by several church members, including Mrs. Zuckerman and Mrs. and Mr. Diaz, (this all took place at the church) I saw the police show up and lead everyone out of the church. Which was weird, because they were supposed to be dead. Turns out it had really just made them sleep heavily, so I’d flipped out for nothing. *sigh* This made me depressed all day…
there was more to the dream, including Matt and Stacie and a bunch of church and school people going to the fair to give me a rest after my trying day, and us seeing Jeff Sparks…that was WEIRD…
Oh well, I guess it’s time for me to go to bed and stop wallowing in self-pity.

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