Archive forI feel horrible...go away.

At least the sun is out

[insert unintelligible frustrated noise of your choice here]
What a day. And it hasn’t even started! It’s only eight fifteen.
Let’s see, why am I grumpy…because I need two pairs of tights and don’t know where to get them, because my rib still hurts from all that coughing two weeks ago (honest…I know I don’t take pain well, but this is really bothering me! It feels like I sprained it. But I reckon you can’t sprain a rib), because one of my best friends’ gone and got a boyfriend and hasn’t talked to me yet [not mad love, just going mad], because I’m a funny-looking, specky git, and because it snowed yesterday.
I’m just a bucket of sunshine and roses, eh?

Blargh. On to more cheerful matters. I’ve set myself a more involved daily schedule now- well, not strictly a schedule because I’m so non-linear, but a list of things to get done each day. Yesterday I got up, did the dishes and cleared the table, practiced the piano, did some of Grampa’s study, mended two pairs of pants and a shirt, and made pierogies for dinner because Jordan wanted me to. Oh yes, Jordan’s living with us for a week. To my surprise it’s proving to be really fun. I thought having essentially two Thans in the house would turn me into mush, but we’ve been indoctrinating Jordan in Doctor Who and that’s entertaining.

So, for today, let’s see. What do I need to do. I fink…first I should do the dishes and sweep the floor. Then, I should clean my laptop, because I keep putting that off and it’s getting hard to tell the smudges from the pictures on the screen [squints]. After that, there are three categories of things left to work on, and each day I hope I can put some focus on each of them:
>Sewing
>Herbal
>School
For sewing today I think I should fill in the neckline of a shirt that I really like but can’t wear because it’s indecent, then clear off my other bed and start working on a project I owe someone.
For herbology I should reorganize everything and try to find a good place to keep it. I’ve got enough herbs now that there simply isn’t room in my little china cabinet and it’s becoming a problem. I think I need to set up shelves in here or something.
And lastly for school…by school, I mean that though I’m not taking classes at this point, I think it’s important to keep studying. I’m reading a lot of classics and hope to set myself a paper at some point- I’ve read a book about eugenics, Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and A Tale of Two Cities so far. Both of which stories I loved, by the way.
So what to read next? I need to study economics soon but I haven’t got a good book yet. I’m thinking I’ll read 1984? I haven’t done that one yet.

All right, to end this long and boring dissertation on what I should do today, I’d better get offline and get dressed. I don’t even know what I should wear today. It’s funny, over the past few months my clothing style has been broadening in ways I never thought it would. It’s making it a lot easier to find clothes now, because I’m not half so picky. Hmm, today feels like a tights and knee skirt day. Whaddaya say? And maybe I’ll wear my hair in two buns again. I hate it when people call me Princess Leia, but the buns are really comfortable and I don’t wear them like hers anyway.
Okay, allons-y, I’m off then!

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Great

I’d been doing so well, but today I’m just down and out. I have a really involved project to do for Natural History and the rough draft is due tomorrow, so I’ve been working on that all day. I found some really good information and was doing quite well, but my energy has just dropped, I’m lonely, cold, and tired, and I’m not going to see anyone till about six. Microsoft Word is giving me trouble which is very frustrating. I also need to hand draw a map, and I’m no good at that.

A few hours later:
still feeling down. I don’t know what to do with myself tonight. I haven’t eaten much of anything today (actually, I haven’t eaten much of anything this week, I can’t find food at my house) and I’m hungry, but I just keep wandering around listlessly in the kitchen to the point where I irk myself. I picked up an onion and started to peel it, but the smell made me nauseous. So I put that away. Mom’s been teaching all day and when she gets home, she’ll be tired, so I at least managed to sweet the floor, clear the table, and do the dishes. So at least she won’t have that to deal with.
I hadn’t realized how much I depend on seeing Matt each week. I go one extra day without him and it’s like I’m gasping for breath!

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Absolutely Furious

I happened to walk downstairs to find the television left on this evening, playing the local news. As I walked past I heard something that caused me to pause and listen. After the entire story had aired I was nothing short of incensed. Stroudwater St., that long road between the church and my neighborhood that boasts the last farm in citified Westbrook, is to be developed into an abominable high-end shopping center that’s been¬†christened “Stroudwater Place.”
I actually yelled “no!” at the television. Mom and I were just saying THIS MORNING that we hoped they wouldn’t develope the farm…it’s been only a matter of time…I said I would lie in front of the bulldozers to stop them, and I meant it..and I still mean it! As soon as the broadcast ended I called WCSH6 and asked where I could find more information about how to protest, and made my opposition very clear. I think I nearly bellowed at the man on the phone that there were those of us who did indeed wish to ‘weigh in’ and felt very strongly on the matter!
After that I called the mayor, but he wasn’t in and I left a message.

I am furious. I will do everything in my power to get in the way of this development. The first thing I need is a T-shirt. Sonja, and I’m perfectly serious, if I mail you a t-shirt would you be willing to illustrate it for me? I’d tell you what to say.
I haven’t got any resources or connections or anything, but this won’t happen without a fight. I am going to call until I speak with the mayor himself, and I’m going to make sure as many people know about this as possible. One of our city¬† government officials lives three houses away from us. I think I’ll be talking to her soon.

I am beyond furious. THIS MEANS WAR.

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Stress.

Everything is going crazy. The moderators of AU are under attack. Let me give you an example.

” AND THIS IS MY PERSONAL SITE, YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO POST THING AT A-U WITHOUT MY CONSET WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE, KITOKY

1/15/05 DUE TO A STUPID MODERATOR NAMED ARSANIEL ( WHOM OTHER A-U MEMBERS HAVE E-MAILED ME AND TOLD ME THEIR PROBLEMS WITH HER IN THE PAST) AT A-U.COM I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN SUSPENDED FOR ASKING A QUESTION! LOL
SO TO ALL WHO I NEED TO MAKE BANNERS FOR, SEE YA LATER, AND MAKE SURE TO START A THREAD ASKING WHY I WAS SUSPENDED. BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T SMART ENOUGH TO EVEN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS! TALK ABOUT IMMATURITY! LOL
OH AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN SUSPEND THE LITTLE JERK WHO STARTED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE! ”

From Lady Moat’s own site. She was banned for more than one reason. And the above reason is not the one she was banned for.

An LM supporter:Krissy: Hello everyone who is sitting here listening. Just because we -know- you are there. Have fun not being able to do anything about it. After all, no forum rule exists saying any bashing of moderators outside the forum will be dealt with.
(not my Krissy)

Lady Moat: HI KITKOK! *shows middle finger of love*
(Her name is Kitoky. And all she did was point out that we banned her for a reason.)

Lady Moat: Ru, don’t be afraid to stand up to these old ********, you are AWESOME! and an AWESOME mod!! *hugs*

Eadwyn: Are there any mods actually over 18?
Yes. Elanor and Kitoky and Eruanna are 18, Turin is twenty, and Tin is thirty. Lady Moat is around 28. She says we’re immature? I’m at a loss for words.

If anyone, ANYONE, ever tries to tell me that being a moderator is easy, I will sit them down and give them a very nice, but very firm talk about how wrong they are. I got almost no sleep last night, and when i did, I had nightmares about Lady Moat.

****edit*****
Just read more of the tagboard. Looks like I’ve learned a few new swear words.

Comments off

I’m depressed.

Comments off

Luthien eleni: *dumps megan in pool of boiling hot oatmeal and sprinkles her delicately with fine brown sugar*
PrincessEstel9: well that different

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Is one allowed to quote oneself?

No need to laugh. It’s not funny, really. I was just…bored. Meh.
Nienor…someone is engaged?
Nienor…what an engaging topic
Nienor…you have engaged my interest

this is how groggy I was today, being sick. Stupid doctor gave me an inhaler and pills. Inhaler tastes awful.

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*sigh*

I’ve felt a bit down the past few days. And now I’m tired…that doesn’t help any. For one thing, the new girl in our class doesn’t seem to like me, but she likes Meg and Mal. Which is extremely frustrating. She said something about me behind my back a while ago, and though I’ve forgiven her, I don’t entirely TRUST her. It’s just so maddening…I’m one of a VERY few people in our class who doesn’t think they need a boy/girlfriend. It’s so frustrating. For instance, one boy just asked the new girl out, and then they broke up the next day. I really believe that this boy didn’t want to go out with her so much as he wanted to BE going out with her. you know? It is just a status symbol. Besides, until this week I didn’t even KNOW what going out was. It doesn’t make sense. They don’t even GO anywhere…they just call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, these kids are fourteen and fifteen! It’s so ridiculous! Man, I get so frustrated. They don’t like me at all, mostly because I DON’T think it’s great for them to be going out. I just want to stand up in front of them and yell until they’ve got some sense pounded into their heads. It is so FRUSTRATING! And there isn’t a darn thing I can do about the whole crappy affair! Someone shoot me, please.
Last night I had a dream that a bunch of people, including Megan, Kendra, and Dad, were in a play, and when the run finished, they decided to commit suicide, by inhaling methylchlorithane. that’s what it was called, but I’m quite sure it doesn’t really exist. Anyway, I went nuts and screamed and yelled at them, but they tried to do it anyway. I called Kendra’s mom, but she didn’t come, and then I called Megan’s mom, but they wouldn’t come, and then I called 911 and they, of course, said that it was harmless. Which it wasn’t.
In any case, I was still freaking out. I dragged Dad to the car and left him there while I frantically tried to think of a way to get help. Maybe what inspired this dream was me reading about that cult leader who had everyone drink koolaid laced with cyanide. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Eventually, after avoiding being run down by several church members, including Mrs. Zuckerman and Mrs. and Mr. Diaz, (this all took place at the church) I saw the police show up and lead everyone out of the church. Which was weird, because they were supposed to be dead. Turns out it had really just made them sleep heavily, so I’d flipped out for nothing. *sigh* This made me depressed all day…
there was more to the dream, including Matt and Stacie and a bunch of church and school people going to the fair to give me a rest after my trying day, and us seeing Jeff Sparks…that was WEIRD…
Oh well, I guess it’s time for me to go to bed and stop wallowing in self-pity.

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Lost

Well, I was hoping to watch a bit of Lost, the new show with Dominic Monaghan in it, but it’s a little too gross for my taste. And Than’s. Maybe I’ll try again next week. I’m a bit dissapointed, but I think it might be for the better.

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NOSTACH BE ORCH GAER.

I needed to say that.

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